OMG: The Women's Health Brief

Even after being on HRT for more than five years, I still sometimes find myself wondering: can HRT really be helping my mood this much?

Over the years, I’ve stopped HRT at different points — often for reasons that, in hindsight, probably didn’t require stopping at all. When you’re hearing advice from a GP, a specialist, and well-meaning acquaintances, it’s easy to start second-guessing yourself. Even when part of you thinks, I know I’m okay on this, another part wonders whether staying on it really is the right thing to do.

I’ve never doubted that HRT helps my physical symptoms. Mood, though, can feel harder to trust — especially when, for me, it doesn’t show up as depression (which it does for many women), but as something quieter and more corrosive: irritability, impatience, a low tolerance for disagreement, a sense of being constantly on edge, and anxiety. I’ve always been an anxious person, which makes it harder to disentangle what’s simply me from what might be hormonal.

When I First Started HRT

When I first started using transdermal oestrogen gel more than five years ago, I remember thinking: is this actually going to change how I feel emotionally? At the time, I knew very little about HRT. I didn’t understand that progesterone can also support mood — not just protect the womb — and there was no real conversation about testosterone either, which I’ve since found helpful for energy and motivation.

What surprised me was how quickly my mood shifted. I was more patient. Everyday irritations softened. Parenting felt less overwhelming. It didn’t feel like a placebo effect — if anything, it was the opposite, because I hadn’t expected any emotional change at all.

Surgical Menopause and Subtle Shifts

In November 2025, I had my ovaries removed. I didn’t increase my HRT afterwards and stayed on the same dose. Slowly, irritability crept back in. Impatience. Annoyance. A sense that I was carrying everything, and that I was the only one doing things “properly”.

What made this harder to recognise was that there were perfectly understandable explanations. I’m parenting a teenage daughter — a stage of life that can be emotionally demanding for everyone involved. It felt reasonable to assume that my short fuse was simply a response to circumstances. And to be clear, I don’t see this as anyone’s “fault”; this is a complex phase for parents and teenagers alike.

But my husband noticed a shift before I fully did. I remember saying to him: you haven’t changed, I haven’t changed, and our circumstances haven’t dramatically changed — but I’m more annoyed.

That pause mattered.

A Small Change, A Noticeable Difference

I decided to increase my oestrogen gel slightly. I was cautious — partly because I didn’t want to trigger bleeding — so this wasn’t a dramatic change. I kept a diary. Two weeks later, I could see and feel the difference. I was calmer. Less reactive. More able to pause rather than snap.

I often read about women who need higher doses because they don’t absorb oestrogen well. My experience seems to be the opposite. I appear to absorb it easily, and I’m particularly sensitive to even small changes in my oestrogen levels.

Looking Back: Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, and Hormones

This sensitivity didn’t start in midlife. During both of my pregnancies, I felt emotionally well — even though I lived overseas, far from family support, and felt understandably anxious about giving birth. Despite those circumstances, my mood was very good.

After each birth, during breastfeeding, things shifted dramatically. Emotionally, I struggled a great deal.

The pattern feels hard to ignore: during pregnancy, oestrogen levels are high; during breastfeeding, they’re low.

It makes me wonder — and I don’t see this discussed very often — whether women who feel emotionally strong during pregnancy but struggle significantly while breastfeeding might be more sensitive to hormonal fluctuations later in life, including during perimenopause.

What I’ve Learned

I know this experience won’t be universal. Hormones affect all of us differently, and for many women, mood changes show up as depression, anxiety, or both.

What I’ve learned, though, is that circumstances can sometimes obscure what’s happening hormonally. It’s easy — and often reasonable — to point to teenage parenting, work stress, relationship dynamics, or life stage. Sometimes those explanations are valid. And sometimes, they’re only part of the picture.

What I know for sure is this: every time I reduce or stop oestrogen, I don’t feel anywhere near as well as I do when my levels are higher. For me, oestrogen affects not just physical symptoms, but how I experience relationships, responsibility, and myself.

A Final Thought

If any of this resonates, you’re not imagining it — and you’re not “just being difficult” or failing to cope. It may simply be that your body no longer has the hormones it needs, and that this is affecting how you feel.

It’s easy to assume that this is just how life is now and that you have to live with feeling more irritable, anxious, or on edge. But that isn’t necessarily true. You don’t have to accept a version of yourself that feels diminished if there may be support that helps you feel more like yourself again.

If you’re navigating mood changes in midlife and wondering whether hormones could be part of the picture, it can help to stay curious rather than judgemental with yourself. Notice patterns. Track changes. Ask questions. And, where possible, work with professionals who are willing to listen to — and trust — your lived experience.

And if you’d like support in making sense of all of this, whether personally or in a workplace context, I’d be happy to talk.